I Will Have Revenge on My Children

Author's Note: This post originally was posted on my new site sowhatramblings.com. I will continue to post on this site for just a few more weeks. Please update accordingly. Thanks. 

My children will get what’s coming to them. They’ll be paid back for the way they’ve treated me. My wife and I will have our revenge.

You may think I’m some sort of sociopath. To this I reply, 1) You may be right, and 2) I’m not crazy, I just have children.

For every dumbfounded “I don’t know”, each whiny voiced cry, every broken household item, and any spilled beverage, sticky candy, or unidentified goo found under the car seats, we will have our revenge. They will get paid back for the stains on our walls, the broken furniture, and any ruined electronics destroyed by their sticky or slippery fingers.

When I spend unnecessary hours of my life repeating the same things over and over again, only to have my children completely forget what I just told them, I can take comfort in knowing they’ll get their just desserts.

Matthew is a Boring Writer…Yes, I Said it.

A while back I talked about Matthew and how we really don't need his gospel, (sort of). The bottom line is Matthew wrote his gospel with a purpose and a people in mind. He was writing to the Jews, (the people), to help them see that Jesus was the promised Messiah, (the purpose). This helps us see why he wrote the way he did. Matthew chose specific incidents and messages in Jesus' life to highlight how Jesus was the Messiah and to call the Jews to believe in Christ.

So Matthew, a Jewish believer in Christ, is going to write the longest of the four gospel accounts. He is passionate about seeing his fellow Jews come to Christ. He's going to write an awesome gospel account. It's going to blow people's minds. Therefore he's going to start with a really exciting sentence, right? So what does he start off with?

"This is the record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham."

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is this? This isn't interesting. Only history buffs like family trees. This is BO-RING. Obviously Matthew was not in marketing and did not go to writer's conferences. This is not a good opening line. No one is going to want to read about Jesus ancestors...or will they?

It's Time to Say Goodbye...

to sowhatramblings.blogspot.com. 

Due to soaring popularity, increased revenue, and the large number of groupies I have following me around, I am going to be saying goodbye to sowhatramblings.blogspot.com and switching to a new website, sowhatramblings.com.

Hold on, my staff is interrupting me...

What? My popularity hasn't soared? There is no money and there are no groupies?

Well then...I'm still switching to sowhatramblings.com. Maybe then I'll get the money and groupies I've always craved.

The new site is already active. Feel free to check it out. It's much the same as this one, with some improvements on the format and style. I'll be closing down this current blogspot site within the next several weeks, but I'll remind you guys before the final day.

In the meantime please keep reading my stuff, and let me know if you see any available groupies.

T

Loaded Mashed Potatoes Are a Gift from God

Annie was just a year and a half old when we took her to Disney World. She was quite overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds, so we let her carry around her little security blanket. When she was tired or upset she would put it in her mouth, along with her two middle fingers, and suck on both the blanket and her fingers. Somehow this was soothing to her. (What soothes me are three warm gluten free chocolate chip cookies and a cold glass of milk, but I digress).

This picture was taken when we were standing in line for a ride. I had grabbed the other end of the blanket and put it in my mouth. I remember Annie smiling, then grabbing the blanket from my mouth and then handing it back to me. This went on back and forth for several minutes. I couldn't tell you what ride we went on or whether or not I liked it, but I will always remember playing with my daughter and her blanket at Disney. It was a tender and memorable moment between father and daughter.

So what? Why am I telling you this?

Do You Know the "Know-ness", "With-ness" and "Made-ness" of God?

If you are one of those people who trusts God no matter what, never suffers with anxiety, and sleeps peacefully in the stormiest of circumstances, then please go away. We all hate you.

I’m kidding, (sort of).

The truth is that sometimes we find ourselves overwhelmed. It’s unclear exactly what the Lord is doing and where he is going with our lives. This is a problem. We would rather know where we are going, how we are going to get there, and who will be waiting for us with a glass of (insert favorite beverage here) when we arrive. Unfortunately the Lord does not always, (or usually), find it necessary to give us the whole plan when we're following him. Personally I find it rather inconvenient. I don’t like change and I don't like uncertainty. It makes me nervous, anxious, doubtful, and confused. Following God without clear answers leads to sleepless nights, ulcers, and at the very worst, grumbling, (see also the Israelites).

So what do you look to for “faith food” when you're in these kinds of moments? (I just made the phrase "faith food" up and I hereby claim full rights to it from now on).

Matthew’s Gospel Isn’t Necessary. (Purpose and Persons)

We don't need the gospel of Matthew. I mean, really, why do we need his extremely long gospel with its unnecessary genealogy and innumerable Old Testament references? Why couldn’t we just read Mark, Luke, and John and be done with it? This would mean one less book of the Bible to read. Isn’t there enough of Jesus in the three other gospels? Like they say, too much of a good thing…

Why couldn't Matthew have just been happy with the writings of those other guys? Was Matthew jealous of Mark's gospel? Was he thinking: "Mark thinks he can write about Jesus; oh yeah? I'll show him. I'll write an even longer gospel." Is that what’s going on?  

Was Matthew trying to make a name for himself? Was he thinking he could make some money if he wrote a book about Jesus? Heck, he was a tax collector and they were known to be shady individuals, right? So why did Matthew write another gospel? WHY AM I ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS?

How Hope Went Down the Waterfall...and I Ate Ice Cream

My wife and I had such high hopes. We were going to take our kids to a state park, hike to a waterfall, observe God’s glory in creation, play in the sparkling water at the foot of the falls, and most importantly, create some wonderful family memories. It would be a fantastic experience we would all remember forever. It started out so well. The drive to Dupont State Forest outside of Hendersonville, N.C. was beautiful. The weather was cool, the trees were green, and the sun was shining.

We were going to have a good time.

Then, like the water cascading down the falls, our hopes came crashing down to reality.