A murderer wakes with me
every morning. He doesn't sleep at night, so he is staring at me as I rub the
sleep from my eyes and roll out of bed. His eyes are red and bloodshot and
there are bags under his eyes due to lack of sleep, yet he always seems alert. He
never smiles and his brow is always furrowed in anger.
This man gets up with me and
watches me brush my teeth, take a shower, and put my clothes on. He goes
downstairs with me as I take the dog out, kiss my children hello in the
morning, and kiss my wife goodbye as I go to work. He walks with me to the car
and gets in with me as I drive to work, then watches as I say good morning to
my coworkers and begin my daily tasks. At every point he is watching and waiting
for an opportunity to kill or maim my family.
This man sits beside me
every day as I call people on the phone and try to work. He is a thin, shifty,
and greasy little man who wears dark clothing. He displays an attitude of
constant eagerness and distrust. He is always looking over his shoulder to see
if someone is watching him and at the same time, looks for an opportunity to
steal or cause mischief. He leans against the cubicle where I work or sits on
top the desk, cross legged beside me. He watches as I work on the computer,
make telephone calls, and work on reports. The murderer hates other people,
except when they can be of some use to him. Once they have served his purposes,
he gets rid of them as quickly as possible.
Although this man is an
extremely lazy individual, he refuses to leave my side during the day. He
follows me to the bathroom, watches me make copies, or get refills on my drinks
during the day. If I take a walk outside to get some air, he insists on coming
with me. When my wife calls to see how I’m doing or to ask for me to run an
errand for her on the way home, he listens in to my conversation. This man is
lazy and selfish, but he never takes a day off. He’s always there right beside
me.
This man is not only a
murderer, but also a pervert. He is always looking at women in lewd ways and
wants me to look too. He pokes me in the back of the head or whistles at me so
that I’ll look over at whatever or whomever he’s staring at. No matter what he
does though, this man is never satisfied. No matter how often he looks at or
fantasizes over some woman, he’s never happy. No matter what he does or
accomplishes, he continues to try and get or do more. He is a miserable man.
Like pouring water into a broken pot, he’s never full.
Sometimes this man is quiet.
When I hold or play with my children he just ignores it all. He would rather be
doing his own thing, so he doesn’t care for my kids too much. If I am laughing
or having a good time with my wife, he’ll go out of sight for a few minutes and
let me be. When I go to church he tends to sit beside me and stare at the
ceiling. Other times when I am visiting with good friends or reading a good
book he will stretch out on the couch and wait for it all to be over. Sometimes
he is quiet, but he’s always there.
This man is always watching
me. He’s jealous for me. It’s almost like a weird, perverted crush. He wants my
time. He wants me to talk with him about other people. He wants to criticize
and condemn those I come in contact with because of their deficiencies or for
whatever reasons they may have wronged me. He wants me to go places with him
and do things with him that are dark, mean, or hurtful.
This man used to own me. At
one time I was literally his slave and he was my master. I was bound to him
with a steel cord wrapped around my neck, like a leash. He was a cruel master.
There are broken and evil men who keep dogs around just so they can beat and
abuse them out of some sort of twisted pleasure. This man used to treat me in
the same way. He was even able to force or cajole me into doing stupid or
hurtful things.
Sometimes I liked this man
and enjoyed hanging out with him. It was comforting to go along with him
because I felt I belonged. Like a man who experiences a buzz from doing drugs
or drinking, there was a weird high experienced from hanging out with him. But
just as a drunkard awakes with a stunning headache and bouts of vomiting
following a drinking binge, so the buzz from time spent with him always ended
painfully and shamefully.
No matter what I did, I
could not escape from him. He was always too fast for me to get away from, too
strong for me to wrestle free, to persistent for me to force my will upon, and
too smart for me to out scheme. I could not escape.
One day a friend introduced
me to another man. He was very kind and saw me as a prisoner, a slave, as
broken and alone. His eyes were filled with strength and pity. This new man sat
down with me and cared for me. He listened to me as I told him my story. He saw
all that I was and all that I could be. He knew all about my time with the evil
man but he didn’t hate me or reject me, instead he cried with me for how I had
acted and how I had been deceived by the other man and his lies. He told me
there were lots of people that had known this man and tried to escape, but were
not able, because no one is able to escape from the evil man by their own
power.
At this my heart sunk. To
know that not only was this evil man a master to me but also a master and
tormenter of others was crushing. Then I noticed that the evil man was not
attached to this new man. In fact, he had remained silent the whole time this
new gentleman spoke with me. The evil man stood a distance away, glaring with
hateful eyes towards the new man. His cord of steel he had extended, so that
while he was keeping his distance, he was still connected to me.
I saw the gentleman had no
cord around his neck as I had around mine. I looked at his neck and saw no
marks to show he had been jerked here and there by my cruel master. This gentleman
saw me staring at him. For a long time he was quiet. Then he said, “I knew this
evil man long before you did. He and I have always been enemies. His desires
are against mine and mine against his. He works with the Law and the devil to
hinder, harm, and enslave men in this world. His kind and I will ever be at
war, yet he can never defeat or master me.”
I couldn’t believe it and
asked incredulously, “How is this possible? I have never met a man or woman who
could refuse this cruel master’s control.”
With a gaze that would
freeze lightning, he answered, “I have never been his slave and never will. Evil
and I met long ago at a crucial battle, and at that time I purchased from these
evil men freedom and hope for men and women everywhere.”
“Sir,” I said quietly, “if
you were not so kind and so serious, I would say you were insane. I am afraid
that I am not free from the control my master. He is ever near me, working to
harm, deceive, and mislead me. Try as I a may, I cannot escape him. I have told
you this already.”
There was a long pause
between us. I began to feel pity for this man who seemed so well-intentioned,
yet powerless, like me, to bring about change and freedom to others. Slowly he
stood and it seemed the sun broke from the clouds. He stretched his arms and
hands out to the sky as if to receive a friend. It was then I noticed there was
light, seeping through his hands, as sunlight comes through window blinds. I
saw that the light shone through two holes in his hands.
“Sir, what happened to your
hands?” I exclaimed.
He turned and looked down to
me as I sat on the ground and spoke clearly and strongly, as the ringing of a
bell in a quiet room. “My victory over evil was costly and I paid more than any
man has ever paid for any object, for I paid with blood and death. But my scars
are evidence of the freedom I can offer to all who would accept it.”
At this point I began to
wonder whether this man was an escapee from some hospital. Yet he spoke with
such authority and care that I felt he spoke the truth.
“How is it possible to
obtain this freedom?” I asked. “What do I have to give you, what burden do I
have to bear, what price do I have to pay? I would give anything to be released
me from this evil master.”
Then, as if staring through
me he said, “Would you have another master? Would you have a master who would
carry, instead of drag you, would heal instead of hurt you, would extend life
rather than shorten it, would bless instead of curse you, would bring light
instead of darkness, and freedom instead of slavery? This is the offer I would
make. I would be your master, but not as the master of evil. I would be a
gentle master who would bear your load. I would be your master, but only as
long as you submit to my leading. I will not beat and cajole you, will not
abuse and deceive you. I will leave up to you to decide if you would listen to
me. When you are weary, I will carry you. When I call you, I will provide you
with the strength needed to complete the task. I would call you to submission
to my will, but with the knowledge that I am the most gentle and loving master
you would ever know.”
“There is no price to pay,
no burden to bear, and nothing you would give that I would accept or that will
be sufficient to release you from your burden. Release and freedom comes if you
will trust that I have borne your burden already for you, and that I have paid
the price through blood and pain to purchase your freedom. Trust me and submit
to my ways, and you may have release from your current master. I will become
your master, your Father, and your friend.”
I looked up at him in
disbelief. Was this true? Was freedom really offered to me? Was relief so
readily available? I looked at the evil master I had known, who was seething.
He looked as if he wanted to speak, to scream in objection, but was held back
by some unspoken word. I could almost see hate seeping off him like steam. Then
I looked at the cord around my neck and up at the kind man, whose gaze had
never left me.
“Good sir,” I said, “I have
known nothing but pain, death, shame, and loneliness from this master. I would
give everything I have for you to release me. I can’t do this on my own, I
know. I don’t know how, but would let you have me as your servant if you would
only give me relief.”
He said nothing, but bent
down and placed his hands around the cord that surrounded my neck. Instantly
the cord disintegrated into dust.
- Based on Romans 6:1-8:4
"Therefore, there is
now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because
through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from
the law of sinand death. For what the law was powerless to do because
it was weakened by the flesh,God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of
sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the
flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be
fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the
Spirit."
