Thoughts on Depression...

Depression is unpleasant. (Thank you Captain Obvious). I’m not talking about, ‘I had a bad day’ or ‘the Lakers just lost in the playoffs so I’m bummed out’ depression, but real, medically acknowledged, I feel like I can’t think, get out of bed, get through this black cloud for days or weeks depression. Anyone who has experienced it or knows close friends or family who has experienced depression knows the pain, anguish, and despair it can bring to a person’s life. If you have felt the inability to focus, been unable to get off the couch or bed, or known the dark thoughts of unquenchable despair and hopelessness, then you know what I’m talking about.

Inevitably the experience of depression leads to questions about God, his character, his control over life, and the nature of evil. This is especially true for Christians. The questions are usually the same: “Why me?”, “What is the point of this?”, “Does God care?”, “Is he in control?”, “Has He forsaken me?”, or “Why does God allow this to happen to me/my friend/family member?”

It’s difficult and almost unfair to try and resolve these questions in a short article like this. My intention is not to answer all of the listed questions, but instead is to provide some truths from the Word that will hopefully bolster and encourage your faith when dealing with the despair and despondency which can engulf a believer who experiences depression.

In the interest of full disclosure I must admit that I have struggled with depression off and on since my senior year of college. I was coming back to college after a Christmas break and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m not really sure how or why it happened. All I know is I got up one morning and was as down as I had ever been in my entire life. I couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t pray, couldn’t communicate what was going on inside of me and didn’t even feel like leaving my dorm room. The worst part was I had no idea what caused me to feel this way. My then girlfriend, now wife, who loved me dearly, was utterly frustrated because she knew I was hurting but had no idea what was going on and therefore didn’t know how to help me. Thankfully I came out of this unpleasant funk after a couple of weeks, but it was only the beginning of my struggles with depression. That being said, I know my experiences with the disease are mild when compared to some and I know I am fortunate for the care from doctors, counselors, and friends that I have received.

There is hope for those of us who fight in this war. Firstly I would remind us all that we are not alone. Great men of history have wrestled against it including famous English preacher Charles Spurgeon, Prime Minister Winston Churchill, President Abraham Lincoln, Protestant reformer Martin Luther, Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, Olivia Newton-John, (that girl from Grease), and Hall of Fame Quarterback Terry Bradshaw. Most recently, Hall of Fame basketball guard Jerry West published his biography in which he details his deep struggles with depression throughout his life and career. No, they’re not all Christians, (as far as I know), but it does highlight the wide spectrum of people depression has affected. So you’re not going through this on your own.

The Word is not silent on the issue of depression. No, there is not a “Thus saith the Lord, ‘Nicodemus was medically diagnosed as depressed,” verse. Nor is there a verse in 2^nd Opinions that offers us all a quick fix. However, we can look to the Scriptures and see how others have experienced the feelings associated with depression. Psalm 69, 22, 13, 70, and 88 echo the anguish of despair, loneliness, abandonment, doubt, confusion, hopelessness, and pain that those who experience depression. What’s the hope in that you say? It is to know that many of God’s most faithful servants, (King David included), knew the depths of despair that we have felt. There is also hope in knowing God was able to bring them through their struggles, give them hope, and still use them in spite of their anguish.

Finally, knowing God is able to redeem our pain and suffering for our good and his glory should give us great hope. We do not suffer in vain. The things we endure the Lord will use. Paul wrote to the Corinthians that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God,” (2 Cor. 1:4). We are promised that God will use all things for our good, even depression, to mold us into the image of his son Jesus, (Rom. 8:28-30).

Depression is awful, (thank you again Captain Obvious). However, we’re not alone in our pain and God is not without compassion and faithfulness as he walks with us in our despair. In these things we suffer through God is loving us through it all and making us more like Jesus. He will also use the struggles we go through to glorify himself and to bless others. Through all of our pain we are ever learning to “trust not in ourselves, but God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us,” (2 Cor. 1:9-10).

God bless you all who walk in the valley of the shadow. We’re not alone.

Meditation on one of Charles Wesley's best...

A meditation on the last stanza of the hymn “Amazing Love” by Charles Wesley, (the Grand Poobah of all hymn writers, period).

“No condemnation now I dread; Jesus, and all in him, is mine;
alive in him, my living Head, and clothed in righteousness divine,
bold I approach th' eternal throne, and claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”

“No condemnation now I dread; Jesus, and all in him, is mine…and clothed in righteousness divine”

A person stands before the throne of God, without hope of justification for their evil actions and thoughts. There is no way any person can, by their own works, effort, striving, tears, or pleading, avoid the just condemnation of God almighty because men are too imperfect and unrighteous. However, there is no condemnation for the person who has put their faith in Jesus Christ. They are forgiven forever, based on the work of Christ on the cross. He has borne the condemnation already for sinners and all that is Jesus, his righteousness, his integrity, and his very life is seen by God as placed upon the person who puts his faith in Christ so there is now nothing for the believer to dread from the judgment of God. (Romans 8:1; Col. 1:22, 2:13-14).

“alive in him, my living Head,”

People apart from Jesus Christ are dead in their sins. Not only are they dead in terms of their guilt before God, but internally, in their spirits, they are dead. A non Christian’s spirit is hostile to God and is bent on evil and sin and is a slave to their nature. However, a Christian is alive in Jesus Christ. He is their life, so that now a believer lives in and through the life that God provides in Christ. They are no longer slaves, to their sinful nature. They have a new identity, master, and resource for living through Jesus by the Holy Spirit. (Rom. 6:8-11; Ephesians 3:4-6; Colossians 3:3-4; Galatians 2:20; Eph. 4:22-24; Gal. 5:16; Romans 6:1-8; Colossians 2:11-13).

“bold I approach the eternal throne, and claim the crown through Christ, my own.”

Men were separated from God because of their sin. Because of God’s holiness, he could not tolerate the sin of man. We see this in Adam and Eve, who were cast out of the holy presence of God after their fall from grace, (which incidentally was only the one sin of eating the forbidden fruit). Moses was unable to enter the promised land because of his disobedience of God. (It was not the only sin Moses committed, to be sure, but it highlights the holy standards of God). All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23), and are separated from God by their sin. Yet in Christ we are brought near to God by the blood of Christ, (Eph. 2:13), and are reconciled to God, (2 Cor. 5:20-21), so that we are have righteousness of God and are called his sons and daughters in Christ!

“Amazing love, how can it be, that thou, My God, shouldst die for me!”

Consider the love of God, that Christ, fully God, the very Son of God, the one who was formed all creation, who upholds all things by the word of his mouth, who called life into being, thought up the idea of DNA, cells, atoms, and complex nerve systems. Christ is the one who created the sun, moon, stars, planets, galaxies, and solar systems. He creates wonderful things like sweet tea, blues music, and indoor plumbing. This Jesus Christ, creator and sustainer of all life, God almighty, chose to come to earth, live as a poor human being with no notoriety, no fame, no worship from others. He humbled himself to suffer the disrespect, dishonor, and persecution from his own creation. He was unjustly accused, tried, and found guilty by those he came to save. He was beaten, whipped, and tortured, dying a death on a cross in the most inglorious fashion. All this was done to save people who did not love, want, pursue, honor, or deserve him. The God of all creation, suffered and died for worthless and wicked human beings. God died. Wrap your mind around that sentence!

This is but a blur of meditation on the amazing grace of God displayed in Jesus Christ. An entire volume could be written just on this one stanza of one hymn by Charles Wesley and I have given it two pages, (double spaced, mind you). Two thoughts on this:

1. Charles Wesley was the MAN in terms of hymn and song writing and there have been few, then or now, who come close to writing with as much depth and power as he did.

2. The grace of God is truly incredible. Indeed, ‘Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”

Having a Kid is tough, get ready

I almost had a nervous breakdown after my first child was born. Seriously. Several factors influenced this. I don't respond to change well. Being away from my own bed for more than 2-3 days gets me off kilter. I need at least 7 hours of sleep a night and if I don't get it, I'm highly unpleasant and smell funny. I also love spending quiet evenings with my wife doing absolutely nothing. So you can imagine that if you add a baby into the mix that it would not suit me very well and lead to some spiritual and emotional challenges.

Don't get me wrong, I was excited about the arrival of my daughter and it wasn't like she was an accident. We planned to have a baby and obviously were successful in producing one. The issue with me was I came to the frightening understanding that I had no idea how to be a father or be faithful to the responsibilities therein. I was especially nervous of being a dad to a little girl. You see, I'm a guy. I grew up with guys. I had a mom, but she didn't count because moms are well...moms. Around the dinner table at our house we didn't talk about girl stuff. Mostly we grunted, talked about sports, or my brother and I made fun of our parents and one another amid the devouring of large portions of meat. There was no discussion about how we felt, what clothes we liked, or who was the cutest Disney Princess. Needless to say, the idea of taking care of and understanding a tiny female was really daunting. Plus I had no clue how a woman's plumbing worked, so when it came time to change my daughter's diaper, I was really freaked out.

My relationship with my wife changed dramatically, too. Her body was doing things it had never done before and wasn't doing things it had done previously. The doctor's told us that there was to be no “pelvic activity” for at least 6 weeks. So besides dancing the tango, mountain climbing, and jumping on the trampoline, there were other activities that she and I were not doing together as usual. Emotionally, things were REALLY different. She was focused, appropriately, on our baby girl, trying to get her settled in, to eat, sleep, and poop on a schedule. Meantime, the free time we used to spend talking, watching movies, or going out together was spent cleaning, wiping, feeding, eating leftovers, and generally trying to catch a nap whenever we could. Things were different on so many levels and I was not handling it well.

Six months after my daughter arrived I got really stressed out and just lost it. I didn't say anything to my wife, I just walked out of the house one night while she was sleeping and just kept walking. I was gone for about two hours just walking around various neighborhoods praying and thinking and freaking out. I didn't know how my relationship with my wife would ever be the same. I was STILL confused about how to change a girl's diaper, and to be a dad. I was begging the Lord to help me get through this. I didn't think I could make it on my own.

The story has a happy ending. Soon after I lost my mind my wife and I had a long talk and we began to work things out. The Lord provided me with the grace I needed to begin learning how to be a dad. The Lord also helped my wife and I adjust to being married WITH children, (as the saying goes). Yes our relationship had to change, but it changed for the better. I began to love her not only for being my best friend and wife, but also for her amazing inherent ability to be a mom. Then my daughter started developing her own little personality, smiling, walking, and just being incredibly adorable and my heart, which hated change, began to melt with love and adoration.

What's the lesson here? If you're expecting a newborn or just had a newborn, be sure to talk, talk, and talk some more. Talk before the baby arrives and talk after the baby arrives. (It may not necessarily be the smartest move to talk while the baby is arriving and your wife is hanging on for dear life and is screaming about how much you don't understand the pain she is going through...but I digress). Regardless, communication is key. You need to make sure you talk about what you're thinking and feeling. Talk about your expectations for life with a newborn. Talk about your concerns about how it's going to change your life and marriage. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

Just as important it is for you to talk to your spouse, you need to talk to the Lord even more. Having kids is like getting married. It's a great way for the Lord to show you that you don't have a clue and that you are inadequate to handle life on your own. Paul wrote about the persecution he endured at one point of his life in the second letter to the Corinthians saying, “But that was to make us rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead,” (2 Cor. 1:9). God is able to get you through the major life changes you face, but you have to learn how to rely not on yourself, but on the life provided through Christ. So pray, pray, pray, and depend, depend, depend on God and he will give the grace needed.

If you are able to successfully communicate throughout the changes that come your way, and learn not to rely on yourself, but to seek the grace and strength of the Lord, you might be able to avoid losing your mind and wandering aimlessly around random neighborhoods at 1:00 in the morning.

God is good, I'm now on my third, and final, child.

A plea for elders to be careful with their theology

I was at a fast food restaurant the other night and happened to be near a table with a group of adults and teenagers. I’m pretty sure they were with a church group of some sort. One of the adults, a man, was speaking with a teenage girl. They were discussing election. The girl was having a hard time with the subject, especially the idea that God would elect some to go to heaven and elect others to go to hell. This is an idea/theory called double predestination. I overheard and eavesdropped upon the conversation. Quite frankly it was hard not to, as I was so close.

The man speaking with the girl obviously believed in double predestination. He stated that the Bible says it is true, therefore I believe it, no questions. The young girl shared that she didn’t understand. This was not a concern for the elder. His only concern was that the “Bible said so,” and that was that. He quoted Romans 9 about how God has mercy on those he wants and hardens those he wants to harden, (paraphrase of his words). I moved on afterwards, (afraid I would interject and act in an unJesus manner), but I had heard enough.

For all of you Presbyterians out there who read this blog, (or probably don’t, as my parents are Presbyterians), please hold off from writing to me and telling me about how true election is, how great Calvin was, or quoting me any manner of Scriptures supporting your beliefs. (Not that anyone has ever written me, but there’s always a first). My point in bringing up this experience is not to debate theology, but rather the manner in which we share it with others.

We must be careful in how we share theology with people who are younger, less mature, or inexperienced in their faith. To wave about the sword of theology like a butcher’s cleaver will more likely leave a bloody mess behind us. Instead we must exercise care, much like the surgeon with his scalpel, so as to bring about healing and growth. Be careful when you share theology with others. The goal is instruction, growth, and learning, not confusion, pain, and anger. A young or uneducated believer, (or nonbeliever for that matter), is likely to need careful instruction, not the brandishing of the whip that says, “Thus saith the Lord.” If we are not careful, we may alienate, anger, and push away earnest seekers of the truth.

Secondly, please, if you have any sense, use caution with the phrase, “The Bible says so.” I know it’s true. I know it’s inerrant. I know it’s authoritative. But more often than not the phrase, “The Bible says so,” is used with pride and authority, rather than humility and compassion. If you are a shepherd of the people of God, use your common sense. Make your goal to serve and teach, rather than beat others into submission with your enormous brain. There may be a time and place for such authority and boldness. Perhaps in debates with men who would destroy the faith. Perhaps with those who are attacking your beliefs. But I don’t believe boldness, pride, and authority are the best means of persuading one within your charge, especially a young believer with honest questions. If we are not careful, we are going to alienate those around us with our pride.

In addition, I think we should be okay with those around us having questions and needing to figure things out. I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with struggling through a difficult question about God, faith, sovereignty, election, etc. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t understand.” Give folks the freedom to work things out and HELP them in their journey. Don’t whip them in the direction you believe is correct. A person who has had the freedom to search and think on their own will be more likely to cling to the truth than a slave who has been beaten into submission. Let people ask, think, seek. Be a shepherd to them to help them find their way. Don’t be a slave master of theology.

Finally, let’s be honest. Romans 9-11 is one of the most difficult, debated, and confusing passages in the entire Bible. Most of us don’t have a big D for Doctorate in front of our degree. (Even if you do, you probably disagree with others with Doctorates anyways). I’m not saying the passage can’t be studied and understood, but study of the passage involves time, effort, research, and understanding of the context and language of the passage as well as the book. The same could be said for other passages or doctrines of the faith. This being the case, (whatever your take on the issue), please for all that is sensible and not stupid, don’t throw around some quote from Romans 9 or 10, (or anywhere else), out of thin air as if your audience is immediately going to understand what you are speaking about and know the context of the passage you are speaking from. It’s irresponsible and inconsiderate of your audience. Again, if you’re speaking with someone who you know is versed in Biblical theology, feel free. I’m thinking in terms of how we speak and interact with those who are less studied and less mature than ourselves. Think again of the analogy of the butcher’s cleaver. Don’t go waving your theological cleaver through the air. You may end up injuring a helpless sheep.

(I’m proud of that last analogy by the way). Peace out

Feelings not based in truth and morality are worthless...except about cheese

What is wrong with feelings? God gave us the ability to feel and love and they are a beautiful part of our lives. What do you mean by all this Travis...you big jerk?!

Let me explain. The key is not feelings, but feelings based on truth.
What one feels must be filtered through a moral sieve, (think noodles and water). to determine whether such feelings are good or bad/evil. For example, a child molester may have certain feelings, but that doesn't make those feelings okay or permissible. A homosexual may say, "I love my partner and I want to marry him/her" but the feeling itself doesn't make the following action okay. I may feel like blowing my top and screaming at my wife and children after a long day at work, but my feeling itself is not the indicator of what is right behavior. Feelings don't make our actions permissible.

Now some feelings are just preferences, like "I like cheese," or "I enjoy watching football." I suppose the logical question is how do you determine what feelings are preferences and which ones are issues of morality. I'm sure that is a question worth a lot of thought and a longer blog, but for now let's say that we should judge our feelings against the moral law of God. If there is no word of God on the subject, (i.e. whether or not to eat cheese or like football, then do as you please). However, there are some matters which God HAS spoken, so we must pay close attention and filter our feelings through the instruction of God, i.e. the Bible.

One may argue against THE moral standard being the Word of God. Fine then, what is the standard? The majority view of people in a certain area? If that is the case then the Nazis who killed millions of Jews, Poles, gypsies, etc, were not bad people because the majority of Germans at that time thought genecide was a good idea.

Others may argue that there is no moral law or standard with which we are to judge ourselves and our actions. Under that reasoning, right or wrong is up to the determination of each individual and it will be whatever they determine right or wrong to be. Right or wrong becomes relative.

There must be an external standard outside of ourselves that determines truth. That standard, whether we like it or not, is the Word of God. Our feelings themselves do not determine what is acceptable behavior. God does. Judge not your actions and plans by what you feel, rather by the wisdom of the Almighty.

Peace out.

Words, Words, Words

In a scene in Hamlet, (Bill Shakespeare), one of the characters asks Hamlet what he is reading. Hamlet replies, quite humorously, "Words, words, words." Now I'm not a Shakespeare scholar and I don't know the deep significance of the scene. That's not the point. However, Hamlet's funny response is a means for me to segue, (segway), into today's blog about Words, words, and words.

It is easy to say things like, "I'm all about Jesus," "I love Jesus," "I'm devoted to Christ," or "I believe in Jesus." But the importance of words and meanings becomes very important here. What do we/they mean by the word "Jesus"? Do we mean a nice guy, a spiritual man, a lover of the poor, a socialist, a revolutionary, or a forgiver of sins to all mankind, regardless of repentance and faith? To many, when they say "Jesus" they are thinking of one of the men I just mentioned. To far fewer does "Jesus" imply the savior of those who trust him, the savior from sins, the savior by faith alone.

We must be careful about our words and be clear about our meaning. Because many will argue that Jesus Christ was a great man, a friend to others, and an example to follow. But far fewer will submit that he is the Son of God, God incarnate, and the Savior of sinners by faith.

Words, words, words are important. Be careful when you use words of what you mean and be careful when you hear words that you understand what others mean.

A ramble about Worship

Worship is a big deal for folks. I suppose it is a big deal for everybody. I suppose we could get into a lengthy chat about how “we all worship something” and how we need to avoid idolatry, but that’s not what I want to talk about. And since this is my blog, I’ll blog about what I want to. So there.

Seriously though, we all know the topic of worship is a sensitive issue. Some folks will almost shoot one another over what is the best way for a worship service to be done in a church setting. The two main groups are formal, conservative worship and contemporary worship. By conservative, I don’t mean in any sort of value sense, just more guarded, liturgical, typically focused on hymns, choirs, or creeds. And by contemporary, I mean any worship service that uses guitars, sound speakers, drums, and other instruments. Such contemporary services sometimes include colored lights and even smoke to further enhance the service. Now I have attended some churches that attempt to blend the two, but for the moment I just want to focus on the two extremes.

Now a disclaimer: I favor the rare blend of the two extremes, contemporary and classic/formal. If you were to put me in a worship service where the leaders played acoustic guitars, a bongo drum and sang classic hymns to contemporary music I would be as happy as a dog in a garbage can. Alas, such a combination is hard to find. However, I share this just to be open about my own preferences. The purpose of this blog is not to support one view over the other, but rather to point out a problem in our view of worship as Christians.

A lot of people don’t care for contemporary worship. The popular and oft repeated theme for that audience is, “if you are really focused on God, it won’t matter what the music or setting is like.” I’m sure you’ve all heard this refrain. Well I think that’s a load of bunk. Look, the fact of the matter is that people are different. Their backgrounds, heritage, culture, and preferences are different. To boil worship down into one flavor that everyone should be able to relate to is foolish and shortsighted at best and selfish and unloving at worst.

Some people grew up in more formal and classical church settings. Because of their history and family culture, they are going to prefer, (for the most part), the same kind of worship setting they grew up in. Some people didn’t grow up in church at all or they came from a more postmodern background. They may prefer a more contemporary worship setting. Each person is going to be familiar with and prefer a different worship style. If you were to put Bob, a formal worship fan, in a contemporary worship setting with loud noises, smoke, and flashing lights, he’s probably going to either a) have a seizure, or b) have a hard time focusing on the Lord. If you put Joe, a contemporary worship fan, in a Episcopal or Lutheran church service, he’s going to either a) fall asleep, or b) not connect with the rhythms and language of that particular service and will have a hard time connecting with the Lord. The point is that different people prefer and relate to different types of worship. Neither person is more or less spiritual than the other. They just connect and relate to the Lord better in different worship service styles.

I have no idea how Christians in China, Africa, or Brazil worship God, but I’m sure each group, (typically), worships the Lord in their own unique way. It seems very foolish to try and boil down the worship of the Lord into a single style and format. (By the way, the folks who typically try to make all worship services into a single format generally favor their style of worship). People are diverse as the colors of the rainbow. Why should worship services have to be black or white?

Look, I don’t like soy milk. I’m told it’s good for me, but I just don’t like it. My parents like and drink soy milk like it was…real milk. This doesn’t mean that they are any better or worse people that me. It’s just something they prefer. Some people really like liturgical worship services. They feel like they can really worship and connect with God in a quiet and formal setting. Some people like loud music and seven different instruments combined to make an awesome, (albeit loud), worship experience. No big deal. To each his own. What I want to warn against is the idea and philosophy, especially for pastors and leaders, is that “we’re going to do worship this way and if you can’t worship God in the style that we do it then you’re not spiritual.” That’s garbage. It’s also hurtful to your congregation and unloving.

A few years back my wife and I attended a church where they had just hired a new, younger pastor. The guy had a lot of energy and ideas on how to revive the church. One of the things he wanted to focus on was changing the worship service from a classic, choir focused, hymn singing, worship service into a contemporary service where a worship leader led the congregation in singing worship choruses. The intentions of the pastor were good I suppose. He wanted to be able to draw in a younger crowd of people who would connect to a more contemporary service. However, the problem was he was changing the worship service into something his congregation didn’t understand or connect with. The only thing they had ever known was hymns and the choir. Contemporary worship was totally alien to them. Unfortunately, the pastor’s philosophy was the same old idea of “you just need to worship God irregardless of the worship style.” As a result of this attitude, some of the pillars of the church, feeling neglected and unconsidered, left the church to find a home where they would be happy.

Worship styles are different and that’s okay. People are different and that’s okay. Yes, we all need to be willing to grow and adapt in our walk with the Lord. No one likes Mr. or Mrs. I Hate Change. However, pastors and leaders need to exercise care not to force people into a black or white choice or style. Recognize the differences in culture, preference, and heritage and be considerate of the differences in your congregation.