Boys, Girls, Lawnmowers, and the Glory of God

     Life can be extremely tedious. We get up every morning, take a shower, clothe ourselves, feed ourselves, go to work, do our jobs, come home, eat dinner, watch a show and go to bed. If you have children, you just add more people to the equation for which you must feed, clothe, bathe, and take care of, but it still happens with a sense of regularity, (albeit chaotic regularity). 
     There is a mechanical nature sometimes to life. The clock winds up, we get up and go, we go to bed and start the process all over again. If we are lucky, we get to experience something fun or exciting once or twice a week. Maybe we get to go to a movie, a concert, or have friends over. But there can be a sense of dullness to life, even if that dullness is wrapped in the chaos of running here, there, and everywhere as we try to survive. This is especially true if a person has children. As Christians, we seem to only experience worship and the presence of God on Sundays or perhaps in a few moments of quiet and reflection we may get in the Word or in prayer that week. Seeing God's hand or glory in our lives is infrequent and typically we are only reminded, or remind ourselves, of God's love, grace, and holiness on Sunday mornings. Yesterday, however, I experienced the glory of God with a lawnmower and later with a children's book. 
     When I came home from work I went to mow my neighbor's lawn. Theirs was broken and I offered, (or rather my wife offered me), to cut their grass. It wasn't a big lawn and it wouldn't take more than 15 minutes or so. The weather was cool and it would be an easy job. My one and a half year old son, Mack, accompanied me. He has a fascination with machines and especially those that make noise. He followed me around the whole yard until I finished. When I would come to the end of a row and turn around, he would turn around and follow me to the end of the next row of grass. When I would turn a corner, he would follow behind like some dutiful puppy. It was extremely cute to watch and it made me very proud as his father to see my son so interested in noisy machines. 
     Yet even more profound to me was the fact of my son's inherent and God given connection to his father. There are plenty of men in our neighborhood who cut their grass. There are plenty of men in our neighborhood who use noisy machines in their yards or garages. My son is definitely interested in those things, but I am the only one he will follow around the yard when I'm working outside. The reason is there is a God given reverence and connection my son feels for me. It's not because I'm a great dad, (though I hope I get it right on some days). It's not because I've somehow brainwashed my child into thinking I'm God Almighty. No, I believe it is because God has put something in all children to need their parents and to view them as special, unique people on this earth. To children, nothing more significant to them than mom and dad. God put in kids a need to connect to and love their mom and dad and nothing that can replace that need. Therefore my son views me, his dad, as an awesome, special man, unlike any other. Believe me when I say I have not earned this respect, awe, or love. I am a decent father on some days, on others I stink entirely. But it's not because of who I am or what I do that my son follows me like a lost puppy. It's because God has created children to look to their parents this way. 
     This is where I see the glory of God in the daily grind. I see a child who loves me, not necessarily because of what I've done, but by God given design. Therefore I realize what an awesome responsibility I have as a father. I realize the gracious blessing of God to get to experience the role of fatherhood, the love of a son, and the expression of manhood in a little boy as he follows his dad mowing the grass. I see God blessing me with love, grace, laughter, and holy duty. In the regular work of cutting grass, I experience the divine. 
     Later, after dinner, after bath time, and all the monotonous events we experience on a nightly basis, I sat with my daughters and read them a book on my bed. There was nothing tremendous about the book, just a typical children's story book filled with colors, shapes, and a simple story line. One daughter sat on my left and read some of the words to me. My other sat on my right, leaned up against my chest, and randomly yelled out words or phrases she felt were or should be in the book. Every now and then Annie, who was on the right, would gently pat my leg. When we were finished, they hugged my neck, kissed me on the cheek, and went to bed. All of this took less than five minutes. Yet in those moments I experienced love, tenderness, childlike devotion, and the "femaleness" of two little girls. It was altogether holy, divine, and awesome. It was a moment of grace and blessing on a normal Monday evening. 
     Please don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those guys who sits around and thinks spiritual thoughts while trying to get the kids to brush their teeth. Most days and evenings are harried affairs where I'm trying to survive the day and get the kids fed and in bed by 8:00 so I can have a few quiet moments watching TV with my wife. But yesterday, for whatever reason, God reminded me that he has tremendously blessed me and that I can see him and his glorious goodness in even the day to day moments of my life. God is glorious. He has a creative and holy design in moms and dads, boys and girls. He has created life with purpose and grace and allows us, even in the monotonous moments of life, to experience and see his glory. 

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him above you heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen." 

Christ came to do what exactly?

Why did Jesus Christ come? Did he come to heal the broken in spirit? Did he come to heal people from cancer? Did he come to set right racial divisions? Did Jesus come to fix our politics and support Republicans, Democrats, or Libertarians? Did he come to get people off drugs? Did Jesus come so that we could get rich? Did Jesus come so we could have "power" and "hope"? Did Jesus come to save marriages from divorce? Did Jesus come to give us more comfortable lives? 

You could say "yes" to some of these, no to others. It's confusing because I deliberately included some controversial topics. It's hard because we are bombarded by so many different ideas about Jesus from the pulpit, from popular music, from the perspective of movie stars, from our friends, from literature, and on and on and on. 

Jesus definitely came to heal. He came to do good. He came to show and teach us how life should work from God's perspective. He certainly came to teach people how to treat and love each other. He even came to bring the kingdom of God to earth. He came so we could have power over sin. He came so we could have hope. All of these are good things. However, none of these is the main thing. 

Paul centers in on the main thing in all of his writings. In 1 Timothy, Paul writes the following, under the direction of the Holy Spirit. 

"The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15. 

Christ came into the world to do a lot of good things and teach us a lot of good things. But the central thing above all others is the gospel. It is the good news that Jesus came to save sinners. We can lose sight of that as we make Jesus purpose into these other, often minor, often incorrect things. Jesus came into the world to die for sinners. He came to pay for their sins and offer a means for men to be reconciled to their creator. Paul the apostle was focused on this fact and we should be too.

I Got Donald Trumped

“Your position is no longer needed with this company.”

            With those words my professional and personal life was dramatically altered. A place where I had worked for seven and a half years was now telling me I would need to find another job. I would receive a severance payment and then I would be on my way. Immediately I was overcome with questions. “How would I provide for my family?” “What will I do with myself?” “Am I going to make it?” “How will I pay for my house payment?” “What do I do if one of my kids gets really sick?”

            We all face moments of upheaval and confusion, where we feel tossed and turned by the turmoil of life. At those moments in life where our world seems upside down, where do we find comfort? How do we make sense of the disorder we experience?

            As I was leaving the office after receiving the news, one of my soon to be former co-workers, concerned about my well being, said, “Everything happens for a reason”. In kindness she was attempting to provide me with some comfort. But was her kindness misplaced? We are used to utilizing such phrases like this. “Everything will work out”. “Things happen for a reason”. “God never closes a door without opening a window”, and so forth. We throw out these phrases casually, shooting them from the hip like some cowboy in the Wild West. We mean well, but we really don’t know what we mean.

            Will things really work out for the best? What if they don’t? Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes things get worse. The person that gets cancer doesn’t always go through a treatment experience leading to a prolonged life. The woman who goes through a divorce may not have an easier time with trying to raise 2 children on her own and pay the bills.

            Does everything happen for a reason? Maybe so. Then again, maybe not. And even if it does happen for a reason, what help is it to men if they don’t know the reason why? Should a person in crisis trust themselves to the nebulous ways of Fate whose nature or character cannot be known? Would you tell a child whose mother had just been killed by a drunk driver that her death happened for a reason?

            Trusting in phrases, ideas, and the character of the universe is only artificial help to the man or woman in pain. It’s vague, uncertain, and unhelpful. Those souls who dispense such advice are well intentioned, to be sure, but ultimately, such advice is hollow.

            So where then does a person find hope in life when crises come? What does a person rest in while tossed to and fro by the storms of life?

            Joseph was one of the sons of Jacob, whose life is recorded in the Bible in the Old Testament book of Genesis, in chapters 37-50. Looking at his life, struggles, and hope can provide lessons for us all. He was a man who experienced great turmoil in his life. He experienced jealousy and mistreatment those closest to him, false accusations from his enemies, imprisonment for crimes he did not commit, separation from his loved ones, and was forgotten by those he had helped save. It took over 20 years for Joseph to see any fruit of his character and good deeds. He was, for the greater part of his life, utterly forsaken and mistreated. He could say, with the blues singers of old, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all”. How did he respond? What did he find comfort in amongst the struggles he experienced?

             In Genesis chapter 39, a phrase is repeated over and over again commenting on Joseph’s life. “The Lord was with him”. Joseph was experiencing injustice, difficulty and mistreatment, but rested in the fact that God was with him. This didn’t mean his circumstances would be easy, (in fact they got worse). God being with him didn’t mean things would work out for the best, because his life didn’t work out in any positive way for years. What it did mean was God, who is wise, good, and loving, was with him in the troubles he faced and ultimately was working things for his good purposes. God was not surprised or frustrated by the evil that came into Joseph’s life. God was good and Joseph could rest in the “withness” of the Lord.

            Later, at the end of Joseph’s life, his brothers, who had sold him into slavery when he was very young, came to him to reconcile with Joseph for the evil they had done to him. Joseph’s response reflects his hope and rest in the character of God, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today,” (Genesis 50:20). Joseph was able to look back on his life and recognize that God was with him and he had been working through even the evil actions of men to accomplish his good purposes.

What can be learned from Joseph’s life? Hope is found in God. Hope is not found in the character of Fate, in the wishful thinking that tomorrow will be a better day, but in the character of God. We remember that He is good. We remember that he loves men and women. We remember that He stepped into this broken world, as a man, and exposed himself to the sin and evil this world had to offer. In Jesus, God took on the sin of the world in order that he might grant men forgiveness for their evil. “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ,” (2 Corinthians 5:21). Christians believe their hope is found in a God who is there, who is good, and who embraced sin for mankind that they might be saved. This doesn’t mean we will have an easy or good life where we are not touched by things like cancer, job loss, or pain. It does mean we can entrust ourselves to our God and Savior because he is good, loving, and wise.

Worship and death to self

Contemporary Worship

• I find that in contemporary worship services emotions are frequently disproportional to the meaning of the words themselves. We are encouraged to have deep feelings without proper truths to base those feelings on. It seems like we walk into the service and people are having these life changing emotional breakthroughs when we are simply repeating the same chorus over and over and over again. The music is fantastic, but there needs to be truth rightly expressed in meaningful words before we have the proportional feeling.

• This is why the hymns can be so great because the emotion can be attached to meaningful truth. The hymns, typically, express and explain the truth of Christ's death and resurrection, God's glory, etc, so that there can be emotion expressed in proportion to the truth. This is better than weeping over the same chorus repeated four times in a row. We need to engage the mind of the worshiper so the heart can follow.

• On the other hand, traditional worship services, while usually involving tremendous truths, can lack any sort of emotion that should be rightly attached to those truths. Singing an incredible hymn like “Amazing Love How Can it Be?” by Charles Wesley, but with a dead and lifeless heart is no better than singing a basic chorus that expresses little to no meaningful truths.

Dying to self, specifically forsaking one's own wants

• So sick of hearing this idea of dying to self, dying to our own desires, etc. I have often heard that we must die to self as if we should forsake our own wants or desires in order to follow the desires of Jesus. I don't think when Jesus spoke of dying to self he was speaking of a denial of the desire to be happy. Rather, I think there are quite a lot of evidence, both Biblical and extra-biblical to support the pursuit of pleasure and happiness. John Piper talks about this extensively in Desiring God. In the same book he quotes Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher and mathematician (I think), who says that men do all things out of the desire to be happy, even when they hang themselves. C.S. Lewis wrote in his famous sermon, “The Weight of Glory” that there are a lot of incentives given to potential followers of Christ of the joy they will find in Him. Lewis' conclusion is that our desires are not too strong, but too weak. The idea is that if we should wholeheartedly pursue happiness, (with the idea that fulfillment will only come in God/Christ).

• Jesus talks about how “I came that they would have life to the full”. He tells the parable of the man who for joy, went and sold everything he owned that he might possess the kingdom of God. Paul talks about, (Philippians?), how he works together with them for their “joy”.

• We need to be more clear when we talk about “dying to self” and what that means. Obviously there is a Biblical precedent for this idea but it needs to be understood in context. It's interesting that nowhere in the Acts to Revelation do we hear about the need to die to self, (I don't think). Paul talks a lot about how we died, (past tense), to self and how we are called to “put off” the old man/self and put on the new man in Christ. But there is no call, anywhere, (I think), to die to self. Self, the old man, effectively died with Christ on the cross and we were raised up with Christ, having new life in Him/The Holy Spirit. To talk about dying to self, in the perspective of the writers of the Epistles, would seem stupid. Self was already dead. We are to reckon this as true and live in light of this truth, not force it to be true.

• I don't love my wife, forsaking any selfish desires. I love my wife very selfishly, because loving her makes me happy. Loving my kids makes me happy. Having a healthy home life is an incredibly selfish desire for me. I pay the bills each month because I want to keep the lights and heat on. Is this selfish?

• I don't think it makes any sense whatsoever to focus on how we must rid ourselves of our own desire to be happy. It ain't gonna happen. That would be like telling a fish not to swim, or a worm to dig. We are wired to be happy. We are wired to pursue our happiness.

• I think of Hebrews 11, particularly v6, “without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him”. Abraham was looking forward to a better country, a heavenly one, etc. Jesus for the “joy set before him”, etc. Moses “considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward”. Jesus, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God”, (Heb. 12:2).

Thoughts on Depression...

Depression is unpleasant. (Thank you Captain Obvious). I’m not talking about, ‘I had a bad day’ or ‘the Lakers just lost in the playoffs so I’m bummed out’ depression, but real, medically acknowledged, I feel like I can’t think, get out of bed, get through this black cloud for days or weeks depression. Anyone who has experienced it or knows close friends or family who has experienced depression knows the pain, anguish, and despair it can bring to a person’s life. If you have felt the inability to focus, been unable to get off the couch or bed, or known the dark thoughts of unquenchable despair and hopelessness, then you know what I’m talking about.

Inevitably the experience of depression leads to questions about God, his character, his control over life, and the nature of evil. This is especially true for Christians. The questions are usually the same: “Why me?”, “What is the point of this?”, “Does God care?”, “Is he in control?”, “Has He forsaken me?”, or “Why does God allow this to happen to me/my friend/family member?”

It’s difficult and almost unfair to try and resolve these questions in a short article like this. My intention is not to answer all of the listed questions, but instead is to provide some truths from the Word that will hopefully bolster and encourage your faith when dealing with the despair and despondency which can engulf a believer who experiences depression.

In the interest of full disclosure I must admit that I have struggled with depression off and on since my senior year of college. I was coming back to college after a Christmas break and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m not really sure how or why it happened. All I know is I got up one morning and was as down as I had ever been in my entire life. I couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t pray, couldn’t communicate what was going on inside of me and didn’t even feel like leaving my dorm room. The worst part was I had no idea what caused me to feel this way. My then girlfriend, now wife, who loved me dearly, was utterly frustrated because she knew I was hurting but had no idea what was going on and therefore didn’t know how to help me. Thankfully I came out of this unpleasant funk after a couple of weeks, but it was only the beginning of my struggles with depression. That being said, I know my experiences with the disease are mild when compared to some and I know I am fortunate for the care from doctors, counselors, and friends that I have received.

There is hope for those of us who fight in this war. Firstly I would remind us all that we are not alone. Great men of history have wrestled against it including famous English preacher Charles Spurgeon, Prime Minister Winston Churchill, President Abraham Lincoln, Protestant reformer Martin Luther, Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, Olivia Newton-John, (that girl from Grease), and Hall of Fame Quarterback Terry Bradshaw. Most recently, Hall of Fame basketball guard Jerry West published his biography in which he details his deep struggles with depression throughout his life and career. No, they’re not all Christians, (as far as I know), but it does highlight the wide spectrum of people depression has affected. So you’re not going through this on your own.

The Word is not silent on the issue of depression. No, there is not a “Thus saith the Lord, ‘Nicodemus was medically diagnosed as depressed,” verse. Nor is there a verse in 2^nd Opinions that offers us all a quick fix. However, we can look to the Scriptures and see how others have experienced the feelings associated with depression. Psalm 69, 22, 13, 70, and 88 echo the anguish of despair, loneliness, abandonment, doubt, confusion, hopelessness, and pain that those who experience depression. What’s the hope in that you say? It is to know that many of God’s most faithful servants, (King David included), knew the depths of despair that we have felt. There is also hope in knowing God was able to bring them through their struggles, give them hope, and still use them in spite of their anguish.

Finally, knowing God is able to redeem our pain and suffering for our good and his glory should give us great hope. We do not suffer in vain. The things we endure the Lord will use. Paul wrote to the Corinthians that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God,” (2 Cor. 1:4). We are promised that God will use all things for our good, even depression, to mold us into the image of his son Jesus, (Rom. 8:28-30).

Depression is awful, (thank you again Captain Obvious). However, we’re not alone in our pain and God is not without compassion and faithfulness as he walks with us in our despair. In these things we suffer through God is loving us through it all and making us more like Jesus. He will also use the struggles we go through to glorify himself and to bless others. Through all of our pain we are ever learning to “trust not in ourselves, but God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us,” (2 Cor. 1:9-10).

God bless you all who walk in the valley of the shadow. We’re not alone.

Meditation on one of Charles Wesley's best...

A meditation on the last stanza of the hymn “Amazing Love” by Charles Wesley, (the Grand Poobah of all hymn writers, period).

“No condemnation now I dread; Jesus, and all in him, is mine;
alive in him, my living Head, and clothed in righteousness divine,
bold I approach th' eternal throne, and claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”

“No condemnation now I dread; Jesus, and all in him, is mine…and clothed in righteousness divine”

A person stands before the throne of God, without hope of justification for their evil actions and thoughts. There is no way any person can, by their own works, effort, striving, tears, or pleading, avoid the just condemnation of God almighty because men are too imperfect and unrighteous. However, there is no condemnation for the person who has put their faith in Jesus Christ. They are forgiven forever, based on the work of Christ on the cross. He has borne the condemnation already for sinners and all that is Jesus, his righteousness, his integrity, and his very life is seen by God as placed upon the person who puts his faith in Christ so there is now nothing for the believer to dread from the judgment of God. (Romans 8:1; Col. 1:22, 2:13-14).

“alive in him, my living Head,”

People apart from Jesus Christ are dead in their sins. Not only are they dead in terms of their guilt before God, but internally, in their spirits, they are dead. A non Christian’s spirit is hostile to God and is bent on evil and sin and is a slave to their nature. However, a Christian is alive in Jesus Christ. He is their life, so that now a believer lives in and through the life that God provides in Christ. They are no longer slaves, to their sinful nature. They have a new identity, master, and resource for living through Jesus by the Holy Spirit. (Rom. 6:8-11; Ephesians 3:4-6; Colossians 3:3-4; Galatians 2:20; Eph. 4:22-24; Gal. 5:16; Romans 6:1-8; Colossians 2:11-13).

“bold I approach the eternal throne, and claim the crown through Christ, my own.”

Men were separated from God because of their sin. Because of God’s holiness, he could not tolerate the sin of man. We see this in Adam and Eve, who were cast out of the holy presence of God after their fall from grace, (which incidentally was only the one sin of eating the forbidden fruit). Moses was unable to enter the promised land because of his disobedience of God. (It was not the only sin Moses committed, to be sure, but it highlights the holy standards of God). All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23), and are separated from God by their sin. Yet in Christ we are brought near to God by the blood of Christ, (Eph. 2:13), and are reconciled to God, (2 Cor. 5:20-21), so that we are have righteousness of God and are called his sons and daughters in Christ!

“Amazing love, how can it be, that thou, My God, shouldst die for me!”

Consider the love of God, that Christ, fully God, the very Son of God, the one who was formed all creation, who upholds all things by the word of his mouth, who called life into being, thought up the idea of DNA, cells, atoms, and complex nerve systems. Christ is the one who created the sun, moon, stars, planets, galaxies, and solar systems. He creates wonderful things like sweet tea, blues music, and indoor plumbing. This Jesus Christ, creator and sustainer of all life, God almighty, chose to come to earth, live as a poor human being with no notoriety, no fame, no worship from others. He humbled himself to suffer the disrespect, dishonor, and persecution from his own creation. He was unjustly accused, tried, and found guilty by those he came to save. He was beaten, whipped, and tortured, dying a death on a cross in the most inglorious fashion. All this was done to save people who did not love, want, pursue, honor, or deserve him. The God of all creation, suffered and died for worthless and wicked human beings. God died. Wrap your mind around that sentence!

This is but a blur of meditation on the amazing grace of God displayed in Jesus Christ. An entire volume could be written just on this one stanza of one hymn by Charles Wesley and I have given it two pages, (double spaced, mind you). Two thoughts on this:

1. Charles Wesley was the MAN in terms of hymn and song writing and there have been few, then or now, who come close to writing with as much depth and power as he did.

2. The grace of God is truly incredible. Indeed, ‘Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”

Having a Kid is tough, get ready

I almost had a nervous breakdown after my first child was born. Seriously. Several factors influenced this. I don't respond to change well. Being away from my own bed for more than 2-3 days gets me off kilter. I need at least 7 hours of sleep a night and if I don't get it, I'm highly unpleasant and smell funny. I also love spending quiet evenings with my wife doing absolutely nothing. So you can imagine that if you add a baby into the mix that it would not suit me very well and lead to some spiritual and emotional challenges.

Don't get me wrong, I was excited about the arrival of my daughter and it wasn't like she was an accident. We planned to have a baby and obviously were successful in producing one. The issue with me was I came to the frightening understanding that I had no idea how to be a father or be faithful to the responsibilities therein. I was especially nervous of being a dad to a little girl. You see, I'm a guy. I grew up with guys. I had a mom, but she didn't count because moms are well...moms. Around the dinner table at our house we didn't talk about girl stuff. Mostly we grunted, talked about sports, or my brother and I made fun of our parents and one another amid the devouring of large portions of meat. There was no discussion about how we felt, what clothes we liked, or who was the cutest Disney Princess. Needless to say, the idea of taking care of and understanding a tiny female was really daunting. Plus I had no clue how a woman's plumbing worked, so when it came time to change my daughter's diaper, I was really freaked out.

My relationship with my wife changed dramatically, too. Her body was doing things it had never done before and wasn't doing things it had done previously. The doctor's told us that there was to be no “pelvic activity” for at least 6 weeks. So besides dancing the tango, mountain climbing, and jumping on the trampoline, there were other activities that she and I were not doing together as usual. Emotionally, things were REALLY different. She was focused, appropriately, on our baby girl, trying to get her settled in, to eat, sleep, and poop on a schedule. Meantime, the free time we used to spend talking, watching movies, or going out together was spent cleaning, wiping, feeding, eating leftovers, and generally trying to catch a nap whenever we could. Things were different on so many levels and I was not handling it well.

Six months after my daughter arrived I got really stressed out and just lost it. I didn't say anything to my wife, I just walked out of the house one night while she was sleeping and just kept walking. I was gone for about two hours just walking around various neighborhoods praying and thinking and freaking out. I didn't know how my relationship with my wife would ever be the same. I was STILL confused about how to change a girl's diaper, and to be a dad. I was begging the Lord to help me get through this. I didn't think I could make it on my own.

The story has a happy ending. Soon after I lost my mind my wife and I had a long talk and we began to work things out. The Lord provided me with the grace I needed to begin learning how to be a dad. The Lord also helped my wife and I adjust to being married WITH children, (as the saying goes). Yes our relationship had to change, but it changed for the better. I began to love her not only for being my best friend and wife, but also for her amazing inherent ability to be a mom. Then my daughter started developing her own little personality, smiling, walking, and just being incredibly adorable and my heart, which hated change, began to melt with love and adoration.

What's the lesson here? If you're expecting a newborn or just had a newborn, be sure to talk, talk, and talk some more. Talk before the baby arrives and talk after the baby arrives. (It may not necessarily be the smartest move to talk while the baby is arriving and your wife is hanging on for dear life and is screaming about how much you don't understand the pain she is going through...but I digress). Regardless, communication is key. You need to make sure you talk about what you're thinking and feeling. Talk about your expectations for life with a newborn. Talk about your concerns about how it's going to change your life and marriage. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

Just as important it is for you to talk to your spouse, you need to talk to the Lord even more. Having kids is like getting married. It's a great way for the Lord to show you that you don't have a clue and that you are inadequate to handle life on your own. Paul wrote about the persecution he endured at one point of his life in the second letter to the Corinthians saying, “But that was to make us rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead,” (2 Cor. 1:9). God is able to get you through the major life changes you face, but you have to learn how to rely not on yourself, but on the life provided through Christ. So pray, pray, pray, and depend, depend, depend on God and he will give the grace needed.

If you are able to successfully communicate throughout the changes that come your way, and learn not to rely on yourself, but to seek the grace and strength of the Lord, you might be able to avoid losing your mind and wandering aimlessly around random neighborhoods at 1:00 in the morning.

God is good, I'm now on my third, and final, child.